Can Purell be used as lube?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
