either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize