Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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