It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
