By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
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If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dicks are not precious.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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