a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
His nipple licking is glorious
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