Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
