i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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