so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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