i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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