If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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