I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Randomize