yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
