i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
