did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
