pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
love makes seman taste better
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
