i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
