ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
