Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
