it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
