You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
