Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
