Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
