i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
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I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
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Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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