im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
