The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize