i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
