the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize