my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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