I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize