I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
They are going to name an STD after you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
