Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize