You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
