I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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