I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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