Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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