beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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