I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
