his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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