i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
