i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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