Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
