And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
