: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just fell off a train. Bad.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize