just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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