This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
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He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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