i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
