just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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