You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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