I hate your face
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
