what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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