Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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