what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
