Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
