Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
