I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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